A life is such a delicate thing

I worked and birded in the yard all day. For days, there’s been a red-breasted nuthatch I can hear loud and clear, but he won’t show himself. I’ve never seen a red breasted-nuthatch just heard one. And certainly not here. They prefer thicker woods, higher altitudes and cooler climate. But here it is, in my backyard. I can hear it, but I can’t see it.

At night, I fell asleep while watching “Neagly,” a series deliciously violent–she’s Reacher’s Army buddy so you know it’s violent. A sound woke me up. It sounded like the doors in my garden shed had slammed. I muted the T.V. to listen for more wondering if I should reach for my gun, but I didn’t hear it again. I heard distant sirens. When sirens are heard out here, it’s never a good thing. After that I couldn’t go to sleep so I went online to see if I could find out what happened.

Highway 299 at Whiskeytown closed both ways. Fatal head-on collision. Fire from one of the vehicles started a vegetation fire, which firefighters immediately put out.

Depending on which way the wind is blowing, if that would have spread, it would have been immediate mandatory evacuation for me. I continued to doom scroll as I always do and more details surfaced. High-speed head-on collision. Both cars caught fire. One exploded with three passengers inside. Four dead and two injured. This was reported by a passer-by who got out to help. One car was completely engulfed in flames but the other one wasn’t on fire yet. He broke the window and got the two injured survivors out. The driver had died on impact. Another commenter was a woman, “I saw it all really mess me up wish I hadnt see that. [sic]”

Christ, I thought. That would have been extremely traumatic to witness. I hope everyone in the car, which burned had died on impact. I tried to imagine the accident knowing exactly where it happened, living only a mile away, and I couldn’t picture it. Even if someone was passing in double-yellow lines, that part is straight and flat. You’d have plenty of time to see someone coming at you and move over. Maybe they had their headlights off. Was one of the cars pulling out of one of the trails there and got on the highway on the wrong lane? They would have been going slow. I felt bad for the first responders who had to clean up that mess. I wondered what had woken me up, the impact or the explosion.

I eventually fell back asleep to dream of things related to the crash. In the morning, a text woke me: “I’m so sorry. Mr. Vireo died this morning.”

Aww, the little bird I rescued didn’t make it. Victims of window strikes rarely do. I’m glad he wasn’t left to die alone in the hot sun, probably being taken by a cat. Even little birds deserve to die with a little dignity. I tried little one.

Warbling Vireo

Tell it to the birds

“I told you that on my way to the Bay, I ran out of coolant in the middle of nowhere and you said nothing. Do you even care?” I texted.

“You’re a badass. You were telling me hours later and you were so non-chalant about it.” He replied. “It’s not you like you said, I ran out of coolant, I don’t know what to do! If you had, I would have said something.”

I could never in a million years imagine myself say, “I don’t know what to do” about anything.

Loving me must be one of the most difficult things. I know this. And I’m quite convinced he’s the only one who knows the real me and can still love me. Will still love me. But me thinking this isn’t a good thing. It immediately makes me put up a wall up to all men I meet. I wish I didn’t do that, the one who knows me is not around.

For days, after work, I crawl into bed and watch stupid romcoms with the pups and the cat curled up at my feet, and I can’t sleep. I toss and turn apologizing to the animals in the morning, “I’m sorry I kept you all up.”

After days of this I realized what my beef is. I wish I had a friend I could talk to about my trip to the Bay. But I have no one who would care to hear it. I have stories! But no one to hear them. I have to tell it to the birds and let it go south with them. But do I tell the warblers or the vireos or the goldfinch or the hummingbirds? Or do I bury it with fall’s lettuce and cabbage seedlings?

And it shouldn’t matter that loving me is difficult and damn near impossible. That’s why I have dogs, to love me unconditionally when men can’t, because I’m impossible.

Sunrise from the Jacknife Fire

With every sunrise I let the dogs out and count how many evening primroses bloomed under the moonlight while I dreamt. Today there were twenty. They will be gone by noon and the next batch will bloom tonight. I document it, and post it on Instagram. I imagine people think me crazy for posting my blooms every morning.

Of course I’m crazy! I live in the woods alone. My only friends are the dogs and the cat and the birds. And these blooms which last 12 hours.

I’m taking in the morning and I get the faint smell of smoke. There are so many fires going every which way, it would be impossible to tell which fire the smell is coming from. I get a text. It’s a sunrise over a wildfire.

I check the coordinates of the picture to know which fire it is. The Jacknife Fire straddling two states at zero containment. I haven’t talked to him in a while. Didn’t think I ever would.
But we’re bound by Cliff Swallow nesting clay and time immemorial. He’s not particularly good to me. Most of the times I don’t think he particularly even likes me. But here I am, being thought of at sunrises over wildfires.

I go back to marveling at my blooms. People may find me crazy but I love that after 50 years I still find immense wonder and amazement in things. It makes me think of that quote I might someday get a tattoo of:

”It’s not life I’m tired of, with its astonishing ocean currents and layers of ice and all the delicate feathers that make up a wing. It’s myself.”

But I can’t get that tattoo yet because believe it or not, I’m not tired of myself. I marvel greatly still at how I’m able to live alone in the woods with only the animals for friends and be really happy with that. And I like myself, so then I’m reminded of another quote I recently read. “When she was young she valued intelligence most, at her old age, its kindness.”

On my drive to work, a rendition of John Lennon’s “Jealous Guy” plays from my play list, and for the first time since my father lost his memory, I start to cry. When I was growing up, this was his favorite song, used to sing it at the top of his lungs in the living room, and now my poor daddy doesn’t remember much of anything. He wouldn’t remember he used to do that and it makes me eternally sad.


“At least he still remembers who we are,” I tell my sobbing mom, who has to be his caretaker, watching this come out of nowhere, and worsen so fast. When I was young I remember my dad saying many times, “losing my memory when I get old, would be the worst thing that could happen to me.”

Why did he say that? It seems so eerie now.

I shake the sadness and head to work. Before I go into the building, I walk the river marveling at how fall bird migration has started. Birds are on the move. To Mexico. To South America. Their traveling becomes contagious, so I pull out my phone and book a couple plane rides. One of them is to see my family. Maybe dad and I can sing “Jealous Guy” in the living room. Maybe, just maybe he’ll remember I visited this time.




My Fall Migration

It seems like the birds and I rarely get to rest long enough before it’s migration season all over again. Are they as surprised as I am when they open their eyes at 5:25 and it’s no longer light outside when it was just yesterday? And it is that, the changing of the light which triggers the migration.

The osprey left the nest and the white-fronted geese are traveling across the in the intersection of Bonneview and 273 en-masse in that beautiful V formation which reminds me nothing about this is accidental. Though it’s still in the 90’s, the air has shifted, the smells are different so are my emotions and priorities.

Gonna get back to basics

Guess I’ll start it up again

When I was looking at the pictures of the Western Bluebird invasion I have, I stumbled upon one of the many photos I have of you. I remembered what fire that was from everything around it and in between. You always fighting flames. I thought of deleting the photo, but decided that wasn’t necessary. I’m not mad, I’m not sad. I’m really kind of nothing about it except an asshole, ‘you need me more than I need you. Have fun with your boring-ass life.’ And I’m not anything about it because you did the right thing, someone had to come to their senses.

Well, listen do you see yourself in me?

We’re such crazy babies, little monkey

God, we’re so fucked up you and me

Even all the stories I used to tell you about my day don’t need to be retold anymore. The ghost of you is a better listener than the real you. And I don’t know about you, but I’m so excited for the changing light, for fire season to subside, for the winds to shift and leaves to fall making it harder to bird because not every movement is a bird anymore. Not every heartbeat an emotion.

I am Roadrunner and you are Rattlesnake; I’ll fuck you up.

When a married ex-coworker from another life texts me, “I was thinking about you.”

I sat up in bed, marked my page and closed the book to think what could possibly be my most unsexy response back to stop him on his tracks. He always thinks this is my first fucking rodeo though I’ve outsmarted him time and time again always laughing in his face at his stupid advances. I may not be the prettiest of the birds, but to you I am roadrunner and you are rattlesnake. I will fuck you up.

You eventually text back, “Why? You had to deal with a bunch of IBM programmers?”

“No. I was watching the game last night at a bar.”

What fucking game he was even talking about I didn’t know and didn’t ask. I just wanted to get his predator ass off me. Why, after so many years of not seeing me, was I still a target of his predation? He did meet me at a low, low point in my life, the most unhappiest, but I never led on to that. I don’t think I had a sign that said, “come eat me.” I also know I was not the only one he hoped to pounce on, there was a woman at the company where we worked and she told on him, and nothing happened to him, but later we did hear that he had been fired from high positions at other companies because of SH allegations. Yet he still walks the earth unbothered doing it again and again. He has a wife and children who post about their happy family life. What does he tell her when he gets fired from jobs for SH? My inkling with these women is that they know, but chose to look the other way. In which case makes me hate them more than the husband.

I thought that would be the last of the exchange since I hadn’t given him an in, and then:

“I’m about to get in the shower and if you’re home I was gonna send you some naughty pictures.”

I threw the phone down. “Motherfucker.” I didn’t ask for this, I was happy in my bed reading my book. I think of not replying, but I’ve been in such a situation too many times before, and no response to them means, “yes, please send.” So I had to say something and say it fast before the next text was his dick.

“No, thanks, I’m good.”

“I was just kidding,” he replied.

I am no stranger to these things, but this episode disturbed me more than it should have. I guess because there was zero context and nothing about this rapey, psycho fuck that has ever made me think he even likes me, to him I’m just something to prey on even from 545 miles away. I told my lover of a thousand years about the incident. He said nothing and disappeared, me knowing in my heart of hearts that was it for us and me thinking it’s okay, ‘someone had to finally put an end to it.’ But I trusted the process even if it lasted decades.

The bat then began roosting in my porch. Sleeping head down. The Hanged Man. Though I drove it away with wind and light for fear of rabies, I got its message loud and clear. Transition is in order.

Picture by me of the hanging bat in my porch.

“The Naked are Coming!”

I saw the buck naked lady walking down the street on a mission. She was headed towards the hotel, possibly my hotel bar. I tried to Paul Revere my ass and beat her to it, to warn Jason my bartender, “the naked are coming,” but parking took a bit so the naked lady beat me to it. She strutted into the hotel lobby where there were several families trying to check-in. I wish I could have seen their faces. All those perfect blue-eyed families with their brand new Rovers and Louis Vuitton luggage.
I speed-walked into the bar. “Jason, Jason.” I motioned for him to follow where we couldn’t be heard. “A naked woman is coming. She just walked into the lobby but she may be coming in here next.”

He laughed and asked for details, “good for her!” I agreed, good for her. But I wanted him to be warned because it would surely cause disruption with those who think nakedness is a sin. And let’s be frank that lady being naked was kind of a sin.


“By the way, don’t sit over there, that guy is crazy and just wants to talk about how much money he has.” Jason is a saint for having to put up with such people with such grace. He hadn’t finished saying that when the annoying guy answered his phone loud and obnoxious, “what? A naked lady broke into our room?” She’s trashing the balcony? She took my shorts? I’ll be right there.”

He ran out and I wanted to laugh so hard but I held it in. A woman came in and sat next to me. “Some naked lady is running around the hotel throwing things down stairs at anyone who tries to catch her. She stole keys to a closet and that’s the shit she’s throwing around.”

I found it so amusing, I wanted to hear more and I told the woman how I saw the naked lady coming and I wished I could have warned them, but she beat me to it. It was fine, this was the most fun I’d had all day who am I stop what’s coming and what is on its way.

“Redding, am I right?” The lady said quickly apologizing in case I was a local. I said, “Fucking Redding.”

The loud man whose room got broken into came back to his drink to tell his tale, “a naked crazy lady came into our patio where all of our stuff was from a day of fishing and she started throwing it around, thrashing the place and she took my shorts.”

“Well maybe the zen Buddhist in you can say, well she needed them more than I did, which clearly she did, and call it a day.” I said not knowing this man from Adam.

His friend looked over at me, “those shorts have sentimental value for him”

I winced. “Who has sentimental value towards a pair of old shorts? That’s just fucking weird.”

Twelve cops came and took her away. I laughed so hard. Twelve. Fucking Redding.

The lady next to me and I ended up having too many margaritas laughing about married men who proposition us. Jason told her about my stalkers and we laughed at how stupid these predators are. We admitted to each other who our lovers are and laughed about it all as I said, “I’m so fucking tired of liking him after so many years. I don’t want to like him anymore! I’m so over it! It’s not even fun anymore. He’s such a bore now!”

We took a selfie and sent it to an occasional traveler we both knew. I didn’t wait around to see what he would reply back, I needed to feed the dogs.

It was all fun and I loved hanging with her, but here’s the fucking small-town rub. The man eavesdropping to all of it on our left is married to one of the executives at the company I work for, and she knows me by name. I’m sure he went home and told her EVERYTHING. How I’m all quiet and serious at work but all my stories about men are so scandalous, and that I have a lover of a thousand years and I hate it!!!


My cover of quiet, asexual programming birding nerd was blown! And I spent a lot of money and ate too much and drank too much and all for nothing because I didn’t even get there in time to warn everyone, “the naked are coming.”

Here, where I play brave…

…my body is a battlefield and my fears are always there for me to face. I was already covered in mosquito bites, bruises and bramble scratches when I discovered the poison oak where the dogs play at goats and climb the steep little hill on the side of the house. Poison oak terrifies me. Fortunately, I had spotted it before getting in there. Now what? If I didn’t deal with it immediately, it would spread like crazy. This was supposed to be a mellow Sunday, I was just getting some work done before jumping in the shower, and now I had to deal with poison oak. As I worked on wondering what to do, I spotted a snake where the dogs play at jackrabbits hopping in the meadow-like part of the property. I recognized the snake as a striped racer, non-venomous, and figured it was the same one I had found in the kitchen some months back. She’d grown quite a bit measuring about 40 inches long now.

The NRA neighbor spotted me and came to say hi. He told me he’d take care of the poison oak for me. And he did, he dug it up, but I helped. From that moment on, my eyes burned, and for the next 24 hours I waited to see if I’d break out in a rash. I got so far deep in my head about all of my fears–for this I blame Karl Ove Knausgaard and “The School of Night.” For seconds, when I’d resurface from my thoughts, I had to catch my drowning self and say, “Can’t stop what’s coming, can’t stop what is on its way.”

So I went to the bar and as much as I wanted to keep to myself and drown in The School of Night, the guy next to me started chatting me up. Cal Fire firefighter coming here for work. When he told me his name was Bryce, I said, “a black guy named Bryce, that’s interesting.” He was hard to hear and he wanted to talk about serious stuff, like the canceling of Cesar Chavez. I appreciated his concerns and his want to talk about it, but I am not one to care when you say, “but, hear me out…” questioning the victims.

When my bartender let me know my creepy stalker was now in the restaurant, it was my cue to leave so I closed my tab and Fire dude said, “I’ll walk you out to your car. Your homeboy creeper keeps staring at you.”

“You don’t have to.” I said, Here, where I play brave…”I’ll kick his motherfucking psycho ass if he waits for me in the parking lot again.”

Bryce insisted. When we got to my car and I got in to leave, he said, “So what? This is it? I don’t get to see you again?”

“Bryce, like, seriously? No, you don’t get to see me again, and look I have to go, I have poison oak and it’s starting to itch.”

Bryce backed off, “Okay. But I have some advice for you, Dawn dish soap and cold water. Not hot water.” Thanks, Bryce, I know if anyone knows poison oak is a firefighter fighting a wildfire, and I know one or two of those. And I have had it before. Thanks.

“I have some advice for you, too, Bryce. When a woman says she was harassed. Believe her and fuck Cesar Chavez. Cancel him to hell.”

Such the typical situation when my creeper shows up, someone plays hero and walks to my car only to want something. The creeps defending me from the creep. Here, where I play brave, nothing ever comes of these encounters, thankfully, and I get to go home and only worry about snakes and poison oak and falling oaks on the power lines during a wind storm.

great blue heron in flight

I was in a dream when I heard my name, “The Sacramento starts in Mt. Shasta, up by where Rebeca lives.” I had fallen asleep during our tour of the rice fields only to come back to the living when I heard my name. Then I saw it on the right, I gasped. X saw it too, “there goes a great blue heron.”

At that moment I didn’t know that the great blue heron would dictate the rest of the day, rather, had already dictated the day and much of the night and perhaps the rest of my life.

encounter each other

at the outer edge of desire

with almost hopeless mercy

and a reservoir

of mutual respect

~Maria Popova

And I remembered that piece I wrote about you and a great blue heron I photographed at the Sonny Bono preserve, which was published in the Winter Tanager.  It was the only piece I’ve ever written that my mother has ever liked, she said it must have been nice for the person it had been written for. I wanted to say, I don’t think he cares one way or the other that I wrote something so nice for him.  What would X think if someone wrote such a nice piece about him and a great blue heron?

“Does anyone want to sit up front and I take the back?” I asked the passengers in the back of the truck.

“You don’t like sitting here in the front?” asked X with a tone I was not expecting, as if to say, what, you don’t like sitting next to me? The Great blue heron had spoken.

risk every safety

and every constant

for a single sunbeam

of wonder

a golden reflection

of a larger life

in the pure stream

of the possible

~Maria Popova

“I like sitting here, but I wanted to give others the chance to sit up front.” I told him. And I guess I had set the tone first, when we met the night before. I knew immediately who he was, I have been reading about him for years, admiring his work, so before he could say anything I had said, “Hi X! I was totally thinking about you on my drive down here, seeing all those red winged blackbirds, and I wondered if there were any trics among them.”

As we drove through the rice fields, we were looking for ones which were still flooded providing habitat for fall migration. “Is that one of them? The one where all the egrets are?” I asked.

X probably thought, dumb girl, she doesn’t even know what a flooded rice field looks like. “That is actually an alfalfa field.”  

The day progressed but the great blue heron had worked its medicine. At dinner time, I turned fifty, the Dodgers won the World Series in the most dramatic of ways and we walked on into the night bar-hopping until everyone left but X and I. But it was late and the bars were closing and we had to be up early so we walked back towards my hotel. I thought of a Neko Case song, City Swans

You linger just a little long,

I see your gun is drawn with the safety on

You can walk me back to my hotel like it was home.

I said he could stay so he wouldn’t have to drive back to Sacramento and be back again at 6 am. “It’s a huge room,” I said, “I can call the front desk for a cot. I have extra brand-new toothbrushes and clean t-shirts with raptors on them.”

“Thanks, but I snore when I’ve been drinking.” He said. As if I wasn’t many whiskeys in and would even notice. But perhaps he was thinking of my position and his position and how it wouldn’t be a good look, or maybe that didn’t matter one iota because then I thought of another Neko Case song, Curse of the I-5 Corridor:

Baby I’m afraid, but it’s not your fault

Maybe I should go home alone tonight

“See you in the morning for the bird walk?” He asked.

“I probably won’t make it to the walk tomorrow,” I said, “I have a friend maybe coming to visit in the morning. His schedule is crazy, so we never get to connect.”

“Okay, well, have fun with what’s his face, your friend.”

And the great blue heron bent his knees and took flight like they always do when they’ve been startled. The single sunbeam of wonder had vanished, the clock had struck 12, I turned back into a pumpkin and I knew I’d never see X again.

And you were knocking at my hotel door at 7 am like it was Sunday mass. And you left within the hour through the back door like I was sin.  The golden reflection of a larger life reduced to 45 minutes in a town off the I-5 with no ties to either one of us because there really are no ties between us just fleeting moments up and down the interstate when the planets align.

Orbit is so easy, you haven’t gained a day
We’re two self-fulfilling prophecies
Who don’t even have each other
Not that we would ever get away with it

*lyrics from City Swans by Neko Case, The Curse of the I-5 Corridor by Neko Case.

Until the hunter

I come sit at the bar and it’s already the bottom of the first, but I couldn’t get away from the office in time. It’s the Tigers @ Seattle elimination game of the ALDS. And as much as I am into the game…I see it.

As a birder, my mind is trained to see a break in pattern. As a woman, my mind is trained to find an exit and never blink.

Someone from across the restaurant was watching me.

The lady next to me, her husband and I talked while we watched the game and I discreetly watched the stranger not-so-discreetly watching me. When the room would get crowded, I’d lose sight of him and in one of those times, he was in front of me trying to get my attention: “I just came to tell you that those glasses look really good on you.”

“Thank you.” I said going back to my game, but no longer able to fully concentrate because I was watching him going back to his table and resuming his dinner. I noticed the seat next to me opened up and I thought, ‘someone come sit here before he does.’ But no one ever came and when he finished his dinner he came to sit next to me.

He wasn’t a bad looking guy at all, but kind of young…thirties maybe. I wanted to watch the game and he wanted to know all about me. And to everything I said, he would say, “it’s all perspective.” And I kept looking at him wanting to say, ‘I don’t know what the fuck that means in this context, but it’s stupid.’

He said, “are you a cat lady, huh?” He wasn’t guessing, he knew because he stared at all of me so intently when he thought I wasn’t noticing. I know he saw the cat scratches when he touched my tattoo, “do you have any more ink?”

He had one more beer and left. I was glad that had been that. But when I got up to leave some ten minutes later and came out I noticed he was lingering in the parking lot.

As a birder, my mind is trained to see a break in pattern. As a woman, my mind is trained to find an exit and never blink.

I casually walked back toward the hotel as if I needed the light to see my phone. But he intercepted me. “Hey, can I get your number so we can go to dinner sometime.”

These days, you have no out when they ask for your number because they always call it in front of you and make sure it’s ringing. When he put me in his contacts, he spelled my name correctly. Of course he did, I saw him looking at my credit card committing my name to memory when I was paying my tab.

Driving home, I kept checking my rearview mirror.

When I got home to watch the rest of the game I thought I should have been more rude and made it clear I was watching the game. I should have made it clear I wasn’t being shy or coy, I was just not interested. I should have made it clear I only like intelligent men. I should have hid my accomplishments as a single independent women and pretended I was married to some hot firefighter my age and that’s why he wasn’t there. I should have gotten up to leave when I noticed the seat next to me opened up. But why should I change who I am and what I’m doing because of some fucking man I don’t even know?

I went on to watch a crazy 15 inning game where Detroit was finally the one to blink first and lose the ALDS to Seattle, allowing a single from Polanco which brought home the winning run 3-2.

where were you when I was still kind

just a water treader

waiting on the line

How was I to know that a city I’d never been to, would have so many ghosts waiting for me. How was I to know that at this point in life that’s all there is. Ghosts.

It was the concert venue and its resemblance to The Greek Theater in LA, it was Josiah, the opening act, who talks and looks like a recent lover, it was the town, Jacksonville, Oregon next to Medford where J, a lover I still think about often, escaped to after we lost touch, it was Gregory Alan, the main act, who I have seen in the desert before. The desert I love and I’ll never see again. It was the current lover, whose ghost is kinder to me than he could ever be. It was the ghost of who I was before half a century snuck up on me. It was the ghost of my youth and immortality.

Master and Hound

Turned circus swinger

How was I to know that all those ghosts were waiting for me to bring out so much anger in me and then I thought of my lover and his lips saying “I love you” but his actions holding all disregard for me no matter how I ask.

Can you shake it up

just once for me.

your little globe just so we can see

The snow blowing around your hands

His little globe I don’t fit into.

But if you get drunk enough, you forget past and present ghosts so I walked into a bar closing the door on all of them.

~Lyrics from Master and Hound by Gregory Alan Isakov